Monday, November 29, 2010

Its Coming, Its Coming....My FAVORITE time of the year!

*X-mas time in my crib!*

*sings* Its the most wonderful timeeee of the yeeeaarrrrrr!

I seriously love Christmas time....I think I might just love it more than I love my b-day! Something about being home and surrounded by my loved ones just does it for always has. I'm older now, so I am clearly spending more than I am receiving but it doesn't even matter! I've managed to get a week off from work so I'm headed to Atlanta! I'm so excited to see my granny and the rest of my family....I might even get a chance to see my brother (if they dont have to be in Ohio for the championship game *crosses fingers*) I'm just so excited! :)
5:22am...wide awake...craving a large meal (dinner perhaps)...& bored outta my mind.

My body is all messed really believes that I should be up and out right now.
I'm always sleepy during the day and always awake at night whether I work or not & let me tell u something....that my friend, sucks! I'm off tomorrow and I won't enjoy it...why??? Because I'll either be sleep or too sleepy to function out in public....*sigh* the life of a fulltime nightshifter...

-signing off "the tired one" (from my iPhone by the way :)) )

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Thanksgiving 2010!

Well Thanksgiving for me this year has come and gone and I must was okay. I had no big meal, I didn't get to spend it with my family, and I even had a few moments of allowing myself to feel lonely but I'm blessed...and around this time of year I can't help but keep that thought in mind... :) So since I wasn't able to name all those things I'm thankful for around a table of loved ones...Ill do it now!!!
The many things I'm thankful for!!!

1. Family- I must admit I have the most loving family in the world. I am not always the easiest to deal with (and to be honest, they aren't either!) But we make it work. We sacrifice for each other. I'd give my last for all of them and I just love them so much more than my words or actions could ever express.

2. Job- In times like now, where there are soooo many people struggling to get by day by day, I have to be thankful for my career. It allows me to live comfortably and I even get to surround myself with all kinds of people from all over...some pleasant, some not so much lol, some with stories to tell, others that provide lessons of life. Its a cool job to have. The few cons I have about that place could never outweigh the good.

3.A Overall Good Life- Besides a few relationship issues I've had recently, I've really lived a pleasant life with no big issues. I thank my family for this mostly but I also have to give "props" to myself. I have worked hard. I have chosen certain paths that have lead me to where I am today. I've had many opportunities to make certain decisions that some would call risky; many opportunities for a "quick fix" that brings "temporary gratification"...and don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect and I've had some "not so proud moments" but I'm proud of myself for taking the path I chose and continue to take. Some call me a square, or one that takes no risk. But working hard and making good decisions have prepared me for a life with few hard times. I love myself & my life.

4. Friends- I don't have many...but the ones that I choose to call friend are truly great people...all for different reasons. There is a little bit of myself in all my besties! They care about my well being, they push me to be better (in all aspects of life) and they are there through thick and thin. I never have to pretend to be someone I'm not. They know "me"...they like "me" & that's all I ever have to be.

5. My B- Boy Boy Boy, he's taught me alot about myself, alot about love, & alot about ups & downs in a relationship. We've done each other good....we've done each other wrong but in the end whether it lasts or not...this was not a waste. We were/are definitely something special....and if I had to fall in love, be stupid & naive, finally open up to someone in the "l.o.v.e." kinda way lol...I'm glad I chose him.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

3 Blogs In 1 Night....Wooo look at me!

I threw a baby shower this past weekend and it was a bittersweet experience....I enjoyed hosting but at the same time I felt like it was all so rushed since all the planning of the shower kinda got thrown into my responsibilities at the the last minute.... Alot of money came out of my pocket and I wasn't feeling that...but I did enjoy seeing old friends and spending time around ones that genuinely love me....refreshing!
and oh yea.....Christmas is almost here! That my favvvooorrrittteee holiday! I cant wait!

30 Days of Truth-----Day 3

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

This one's a easy one....I went through such a rough summer this year.....dealt with communication issues with my family, relationship drama with my boyfriend, & feelings of inadequacy working my 1st respiratory job....not to mention moving to a city where I have no family and friends....I let the stress of everything weigh down on me and I started acting outside of my character...there are 2 things I did that stand out in my mind that I have been having the hardest time forgiving myself for and as I type this I realize that I'm still not okay enough to type it out. But I have to remember that I am human....and we make mistakes....learn from them and move on....but I do sincerely apologize to the two people that I hurt with my actions and it will NEVER happen again.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Better Woman or Bigger Fool....

Having a emotional evening.... *warning* I will ramble...

#nowplaying- Erykah Badu- Out My Mind, Just in Time

I'm not sure what hit me yesterday morning when I woke up but all of a sudden I felt taken advantage of, used, & unappreciated in my roller coaster of a relationship....
now, one sane one would ask....if u have so many complaints and feel this unhappy a lot of the time...why stay?? At this point, I am desperately searching for that answer.
I guess I don't get it... I'm not perfect but I am a good person...hes not perfect but hes a good person too...were so in, why do we argue so much? why don't we work like we use to anymore? what happened to us?? why do I all of a sudden feel so unhappy? why can't I drop certain issues? why cant I let things that cause pain go? And most importantly, if we both agree that we want this to last, why cant we come to a common ground on the issues that hurt our relationship???....
I always told myself Id never get caught up in a situation like this but I am gone...control has been lost and I need it back.
One things for sure...if we don't make it, hell never find a better woman......or a bigger fool.

#nowplaying Floetry- If I was a Bird (live)