Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year!!!

I'm sooooo excited! Tomorrow starts a BRAND NEW YEAR!!! I made it...another year....and I'm so grateful for everything...my family, my friends, my health, my career, my possessions, & last but not least....my sanity! lol

For the new year, I'm fixing some things....and no, I dont want to call this a resolution....why?....because I have never seen one person fulfill their resolution....they just dont work! (hey, I'm being honest...)


"I Don't do newyears resolutions! I have SOLUTIONS 4 last years problems cause u will face them again. Live n learn baby. Then u learn 2 live! -Deion Sanders"

I'm feeling Mr. Sander's statement...and lately I have been overwhelmingly motivated to make changes like never before.

I want to be better, all around & let me tell ya something, this new-found motivation is a force to be reckoned with! Just watch me work in 2011!

PS. Sorry Reverb10....I got to Atlanta with my family for the holidays and I totally neglected everything that has anything to do with the internet! Anywho.......
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

reverb10.day 20

Day 20- Beyond Avoidance

What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Author: Jake Nickell)

To be very vague on this topic...I should have let go of a certain situation in my life before I allowed myself to get tangled up in confusion, the past, & crazy people! Damn that heart...always getting in the way of those intelligent thoughts my brain comes up with! :)

no regrets though. never a failure, always a lesson....

Wooo! Backed up on Reverbs! Day 17,18, & 19

Between work, sleep, & preparing to go home for the holidays I've gotten a little backed up on my daily exercises....so while I have a moment, lets go!

Dec. 17 Lesson Learned

What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I've learned that I am a very mild-mannered respectful individual w/ alot of self-control....to everyone. I know that doesn't seem like much but you'd be surprised how many people don't know how to control themselves...how many people are stuck in their ways and dont know how to adapt their personalities to different situations. I'm just glad I know how to compose myself.


Dec 18th Try

What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did/didnt go for it?

Next year I want to go to school...its actually something I wanted to do this year but I found myself complacent in the life I was living (aka lazy!!!) But I wasn't to upset with myself because it was just another year I got experience in a hospital working....not a total lost!


Dec 19th Healing

What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip by drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

*deep breathe* okkkayyy lets see........ *after 10 min of thought*
This year, I don't think there was one event that actually "healed" me...To say "healed", I believe that I would have been broken in some way beforehand. I look at this past year more as a growing experience....one that took me from a more child-like irresponsible life to living an self-sufficient kind of life! (grown baby!)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

reverb10 day 16

December 16 – Friendship
How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

One of my besties has had a worldspin of a year and watching her go through so many ups & downs has taught me alot about this world & myself....

(with respect to her business, i wont go into too much detail....)

but she has dealt with certain things from racism at work to a pregnancy w/ twins w/ drama attached....

I went from listening to her having daily emotional breakdowns on the phone to the point where she realized she had to get it together (for herself and her children)...
She started to prioritize all the things and people that truly mattered. She turned her whole attitude around...fought for her happiness. She made me realize that things might not always go as expected but "hope" and "faith" can take you a long way and you gotta be positive...even when the world is telling you you have no reason to be.

I have been trying to take a page out of her book by ignoring the madness of the world and just being thankful for what I have & positive no matter what the issue is....the process is gradual but it feels good to just be happy.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

reverb 10. day 15

December 15 – 5 Minutes

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

Alrighty! This should be fun! ***sets clock for 5 min**

-quiet mornings on the beach looking in the sky (still can't believe I live 5 min from the beach)

-spring break with mo, shirnelle, b, and me! good times

-both weddings this summer

-finding out one of my close friends was really pregnant! (WOW!)

-watching my bro win his championship game! MAC champs 2010! I saw him screaming his lungs out on ESPN!!

-my first baby code, & twin C-section at work...talk about sweating and high heart rates...wooo!

-Homecoming 2010!!!

-Southbeach Miami with Maya....

-wedding dress shopping with my coworkers (1st time I actually went out during the day to hang with people....sad I know!)

-dying my own hair....and still having a head full when I was done. lol

-my many trips to ATL

-Orlando getaway with B



Tuesday, December 14, 2010

reverb 10. day 14

December 14 – Appreciate

What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

When I was younger, my addiction was tv...A teen, my addiction was hanging out with friends...college student, my addiction was freedom....

now even though I love my family a hell of alot, it seems that I have always put other things before them when deep inside, they are truly the center of my world.
I guess I never noticed how much I appreciated them until I got out here on my own. (Sounds like some stuff my mom said to me during a argument in my teens lol)
People are so fair-weathered nowadays....full of disappointment, hate, & ulterior motives. Finding genuine people to become an addition to your life is difficult.
What it all boils down to for me is family is everything. They are the ONLY people that are ALWAYS there for me. I don't have to worry about acceptance, I don't have to worry about being thrown under the bus, or deceit & lies from them, they always have good intentions for me....and for that I am thankful.



Monday, December 13, 2010

reverb 10. day 13

So I missed a day....day 12- body integration, and after reading the prompt I would have struggled with the topic anyway so here we are at day 13!

December 13 – Action

When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

In 2011, I will be entering a pharmacy school in the southern region of the states. Working my first job has been an experience but I'm ready to continue on my educational journey. I will be signing up for a Physics 2 course first and after that, I'll be done with all my pre-reqs & prepared to enter the pharmacy school of my choice.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

reverb 10. day 11- 11 things

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

1. Negativity.....some people in life are so depressed and unsatisfied with their lives that they cant help but to be sour pusses!! Misery LOVES company... I for one am tired of it....in 2011, if you cant be positive when you're around me....there will be immediate distancing. Life is too short to be upset all the the time.

2. Large consumption of Alcohol..... I drank a lot this year, margaritas at every restaurant, shots at every club, wine just because....money lost and weight gained. There will definitely be a cut back! Water and I will become best buds!

3. Pity Parties.... I fall victim sometimes....allowing myself to feel sorry for myself....instead of solving my issue and moving on. This I will work on...no specific plan but to just do it....

4. Weight Gain.... In 2010 alone, I have had such an up & down merry go round of weight issues....and I know it cant be healthy... I gotta take control and fix this. Eating better, regular exercise, & self-control.

5. Shit Talking.... yea its fun & gets a laugh in but it causes nothing but trouble in the long run...aint nothing to it but to do it....

6. Laziness.... I can be very content with sitting in one spot for days at a time...I have to be cautious to not become lazy. There are many things I want to accomplish within the next few years and laziness will be the death of my dreams...so there is no room for it!

(sidenote....this blog is sooo difficult, Im sleepy, I was tired around #3 and I'm running outta juice....gotta PRESS ON though! lol)

7. Relationship drama..... love is real, and when the love between two people starts to have trials and tribulations....it takes a large toll on my entire life. One bad argument can ruin a day...daily tough times can ruin a summer (trust I know)...and I just don't want to have to deal with many things that I chose to deal with in the past. No more getting caught up in mess.

8. Take out dinner/ fast food.... another contributor to my weight fluctuations....my goal to myself is to cook more (even though I hate it!)...I will learn to love it and stop giving fast food restaurants all my money.

9. Sentra....*fingers crossed* 9 yrs ago....I was given the best gift I could ever ask for. A whip! lol Ever since, me and that Sentra have been roaddogs...always there for each other...but shes tired now and its time. God willing, Ill be retiring her and picking up a new SUV.

10. Stress.... its so much easier not to worry.

11. Loner"ism" (made up my own word).... I can be a loner easily...I don't require attention from others, I don't need to talk to anyone....but I want to change that. I want to become more open to going out and meeting new people.

To be honest, this exercise for me was difficult because I couldn't really think of too many things I wanted to get rid of...I like my life, but if I can cut back on the things I named, my overall happiness level would go up a few notches! :)

Friday, December 10, 2010

Fill in the Blank Friday...

I see a couple of bloggers do this weekly sooooo......WAHLAH! MY TURN!!!!


2. Yesterday I bought some new glasses that I fell in love with...I hope I still love them the same when I actually get them back.

3. Today I will hopefully get some rest before I go into work tonight.

4. Tomorrow I will probably sleep all day....I work all weekend so I'll be sleeping all day & working all night for the next few days.

5. Maybe I shouldn't worry about what other people think so much....I am a much happier person when I don't give a f***..(just an observation)...


6. Someday I will have the relationship I want with my family, I will have my own stable immediate family, I will be fully happy w/ myself and I'll have everything I ever wanted....true happiness.

7. I love when I meet genuinely good people. It's sooo many evil monsters out here!

reverb10. day10- wisdom

December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)
I think the wisest decision I made this year was to move to South Florida for my first job after graduating college. It hasn't been a easy year for me but it has definitely been beneficial in me growing up.
See, I have ALWAYS been a spoiled brat....never had to work for anything, never had to want for anything. I thank my parents for working extra hard and making growing up for me a breeze...but with all that "spoiled"ness"' I also didn't know how to do simple things that everyone else knew how to do (ie. pump gas, handle business in a bank, write a check, fill out papers at a doctors office).....little things that most don't think twice about, I was clueless to...
I could have easily graduated college, moved back home, got a job and continued to live the spoiled life (which was the option my mother preferred) but I chose to venture out; go to a new city all alone and try this grown up thing...
I can now say, I am truly independent.
And while I might make mistakes sometimes.....I do everything on my own, I pay for all my expenses with no help, and I'm doing a okay job at it all.
I'm proud of myself. I feel free.
EDIT:: OBSERVATION:::...Reasons why blogging at 3am is NOT GOOD!!----Although this is a good blog, I moved down to S Fla at the end of 2009....which means it doesn't count...to bad I don't feel like re-typing it lol (So well just keep it how it is....don't tell anyone :) )

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Reverb 10 ey?? hmmm...

So after having my share of "deep conversations" at work with Ashley (over at http://notsosoftly.blogspot.com/) and the rest of my coworkers....she convinced me to check out this Reverb 10 thing....now initially, I was not interested because I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with this but after further thought I say, why not!
What is Reverb 10??
Well, some cool kids came up with a way to reflect upon your year by writing daily notes on different topics/prompts...don't really feel like going deeper than that so check out the website!
(http://www.reverb10.com/the-prompts/)
So I guess I'll come in on Day 9- Party....

December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)

Although I didnt go to many parties this year, I have to say I truly enjoyed myself at my cousins wedding this year. It was held in the beautiful city of Clearwater, FL....I hadn't seen my family in months and I was long overdue. The reception was at a beautiful country club; I wore this cute black & white dress w/ silver high heel sandals (I know, I know...no black at weddings but it was last minute)....they had a open bar and many different choices of island cuisines (the wife was from Haiti)....and it was an all-around good time! I laughed, danced, sang, sweated out my hair (lol), & enjoyed my family....only thing that was missing was my bro!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Its Coming, Its Coming....My FAVORITE time of the year!

*X-mas time in my crib!*

CHRISTMAS TIMEEEEEEE!!!!
*sings* Its the most wonderful timeeee of the yeeeaarrrrrr!

I seriously love Christmas time....I think I might just love it more than I love my b-day! Something about being home and surrounded by my loved ones just does it for me....it always has. I'm older now, so I am clearly spending more than I am receiving but it doesn't even matter! I've managed to get a week off from work so I'm headed to Atlanta! I'm so excited to see my granny and the rest of my family....I might even get a chance to see my brother (if they dont have to be in Ohio for the championship game *crosses fingers*) I'm just so excited! :)
5:22am...wide awake...craving a large meal (dinner perhaps)...& bored outta my mind.

My body is all messed up...it really believes that I should be up and out right now.
I'm always sleepy during the day and always awake at night whether I work or not & let me tell u something....that my friend, sucks! I'm off tomorrow and I won't enjoy it...why??? Because I'll either be sleep or too sleepy to function out in public....*sigh* the life of a fulltime nightshifter...

-signing off "the tired one" (from my iPhone by the way :)) )

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Thanksgiving 2010!

Well Thanksgiving for me this year has come and gone and I must say.....it was okay. I had no big meal, I didn't get to spend it with my family, and I even had a few moments of allowing myself to feel lonely but I'm blessed...and around this time of year I can't help but keep that thought in mind... :) So since I wasn't able to name all those things I'm thankful for around a table of loved ones...Ill do it now!!!
The many things I'm thankful for!!!

1. Family- I must admit I have the most loving family in the world. I am not always the easiest to deal with (and to be honest, they aren't either!) But we make it work. We sacrifice for each other. I'd give my last for all of them and I just love them so much more than my words or actions could ever express.

2. Job- In times like now, where there are soooo many people struggling to get by day by day, I have to be thankful for my job...my career. It allows me to live comfortably and I even get to surround myself with all kinds of people from all over...some pleasant, some not so much lol, some with stories to tell, others that provide lessons of life. Its a cool job to have. The few cons I have about that place could never outweigh the good.

3.A Overall Good Life- Besides a few relationship issues I've had recently, I've really lived a pleasant life with no big issues. I thank my family for this mostly but I also have to give "props" to myself. I have worked hard. I have chosen certain paths that have lead me to where I am today. I've had many opportunities to make certain decisions that some would call risky; many opportunities for a "quick fix" that brings "temporary gratification"...and don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect and I've had some "not so proud moments" but I'm proud of myself for taking the path I chose and continue to take. Some call me a square, or one that takes no risk. But working hard and making good decisions have prepared me for a life with few hard times. I love myself & my life.

4. Friends- I don't have many...but the ones that I choose to call friend are truly great people...all for different reasons. There is a little bit of myself in all my besties! They care about my well being, they push me to be better (in all aspects of life) and they are there through thick and thin. I never have to pretend to be someone I'm not. They know "me"...they like "me" & that's all I ever have to be.

5. My B- Boy Boy Boy, he's taught me alot about myself, alot about love, & alot about ups & downs in a relationship. We've done each other good....we've done each other wrong but in the end whether it lasts or not...this was not a waste. We were/are definitely something special....and if I had to fall in love, be stupid & naive, finally open up to someone in the "l.o.v.e." kinda way lol...I'm glad I chose him.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

3 Blogs In 1 Night....Wooo look at me!

I threw a baby shower this past weekend and it was a bittersweet experience....I enjoyed hosting but at the same time I felt like it was all so rushed since all the planning of the shower kinda got thrown into my responsibilities at the the last minute.... Alot of money came out of my pocket and I wasn't feeling that...but I did enjoy seeing old friends and spending time around ones that genuinely love me....refreshing!
and oh yea.....Christmas is almost here! That my favvvooorrrittteee holiday! I cant wait!

30 Days of Truth-----Day 3

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

This one's a easy one....I went through such a rough summer this year.....dealt with communication issues with my family, relationship drama with my boyfriend, & feelings of inadequacy working my 1st respiratory job....not to mention moving to a city where I have no family and friends....I let the stress of everything weigh down on me and I started acting outside of my character...there are 2 things I did that stand out in my mind that I have been having the hardest time forgiving myself for and as I type this I realize that I'm still not okay enough to type it out. But I have to remember that I am human....and we make mistakes....learn from them and move on....but I do sincerely apologize to the two people that I hurt with my actions and it will NEVER happen again.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Better Woman or Bigger Fool....

Having a emotional evening.... *warning* I will ramble...

#nowplaying- Erykah Badu- Out My Mind, Just in Time

I'm not sure what hit me yesterday morning when I woke up but all of a sudden I felt taken advantage of, used, & unappreciated in my roller coaster of a relationship....
now, one sane one would ask....if u have so many complaints and feel this unhappy a lot of the time...why stay?? At this point, I am desperately searching for that answer.
I guess I don't get it... I'm not perfect but I am a good person...hes not perfect but hes a good person too...were so in love........so, why do we argue so much? why don't we work like we use to anymore? what happened to us?? why do I all of a sudden feel so unhappy? why can't I drop certain issues? why cant I let things that cause pain go? And most importantly, if we both agree that we want this to last, why cant we come to a common ground on the issues that hurt our relationship???....
I always told myself Id never get caught up in a situation like this but I am gone...control has been lost and I need it back.
One things for sure...if we don't make it, hell never find a better woman......or a bigger fool.

#nowplaying Floetry- If I was a Bird (live)

out.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

30 Days of Truth--------DAY 2!!!!!

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Not to brag on myself or anything but I love how "genuine & honest" I am. Those are qualities that are hard to find in people and I feel like I'm a rare breed....
I watch as most of my friends fall in and out of there relationships, friendships, and even family ties all because of lying and just down right trifling situations....
I have kept the same friends for years, a close relationship with family, and serious bonds in my relationships....
I don't always say what people like but if I consider you a loved one, I will ride for you....you will always get the best of me. I will be honest, genuine, & respectful always. I love that quality in me...

Ha Ha!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

30 Days of Truth---> Day 1

I saw this cute post on the "After I Do" blog and I decided to play along! Sooooooo here we go....DAY 1!!!!

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Something I hate about myself....
I hate the fact that I am timid and shy around alot of people...
I just don't know what the problem is but I've been like this forever... Its crazy because I'm so silly, so loud, and so crazy but only my closest friends and family would ever know.
My mom & Brendan say I'm a totally opposite person with them than with alot of people; they say I should work on it...and I agree, but idk where to begin...
I actually sit sometimes wanting to speak up & say what's on my mind and I literally can not make my lips part to speak! It's a pain... really.

Where have I been?!

WOW!!! I've been gone for awhile.... I've had so many things I've wanted to blog about but I just haven't been coming to this website.

Let's see here...I'm on day 3 of 4 at work... (oh joy!)

I haven't been doing too much other than that. Me and my love are still together and doing well... *cross your fingers* I really hope it stays that way because it seems like there is always something...

Now that I think about it, I don't really feel like blogging right now!

Ill be back soon with something interesting to say....

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Homecoming!!!

Haven't gone to a club in about a year but I gotta say.....I'm soooooooooooo excited about Homecoming this year at my alma mater, FAMU! I plan on partying my ass off and drinking til my kidneys hurt! (excuse my language) That is all.

Reminiscing....




I can't wait!

Tats...

So....I want another tat...don't know why, I just do!

Im thinking a lightly printed (probably light gray) cursive print of some statement I love like "Love Conquers All or Worries End Where Faith Begins...idk yet?!

This would be tat #4 and yet another headache for my mother...
its something about the ink that I love....none of them are visible unless I choose to show them, they are all small, and I love them...

My 1st tat ( rebellious tat.....just wanted one because I was about to turn 18 & grown 'in my mind') but I still like it alot. It means love....and "yes" I researched it to make sure before I got it.




2nd tat (The "Cancer" in me tat..... although I'm not deep in the Zodiac world I def. recognize that my personality does embody the "Cancer woman"....homebody, overly-emotional, intuitive, good person in general)....wish I had put it in a better location though lol....





3rd tat (Random cute tat..... i could lie and say this tat is a representation of me always "owning the key to my heart"....but that would be a lie. I just thought it was cute....lol)

I'm addicted to my hair!

I loooooooovvvvvvveeee my hair....everything about it! Ill give ya a lil background history on it....mom relaxed it when I was 7yrs old, wore it silky straight until I got to college, discovered that I have a nice grade of hair & I probably don't have to get relaxers as much as I do....or at all for that matter...so I stopped.
I've been without a relaxer for 4 yrs now and it's amazing...I have naturally curly/wavy hair, it despises humidity and it hates to hold a curl (with a iron) but I still adore it.

Today I was feeling random so I bought a box of jet black color and colored my hair for the 1st time.. so enough with the words....heres the pics!








BEFORE














AFTER














And here's a few more pics of my hair over the past 4 years...

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Monopoly is SERIOUS BUSINESS in my crib!

So I ran across this video...and I find it HILARIOUS!! Idk why me and my bf decided to play Monopoly but we did & this shit was ridiculous!
B takes board games soo seriously and we both hate to lose....so he tries to record everything!
(*WARNING* its loud! turn down your volume)


video


lol

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

In a relationship?

Well I'm trying my best to stay active with the blogging but I have honestly been too busy trying to stay out of my apartment everyday I'm not scheduled to work! I gotta live my life!
It got to the point where all I was doing was sleeping, eating, and working....that's no life for a 24 yr old...
Soooooo....friends houses, pools, beaches, malls, Miami, Orlando, Atlanta (home!!!!), Tally, Tampa....I've been everywhere this summer!

This past weekend, I attended a beautiful wedding in Clearwater, FL. My cousin proposed to his beautiful bride and I couldn't miss that wedding for anything, plus my parents came down too! (I missed them)

The older I get, the more appreciative I seem to be when I'm around family. I miss them a lot more than I ever realized.

After I left Clearwater, I decided to raodtrip to Tally-ho! There was some serious business to take care of!!! (at least in my opinion)

See, anyone who knows me or reads this blog knows that I have been through soooo many ups & downs dealing with the break up w/ my ex and the crumbling of his life (literally)....

I decided that "WE" had a big decision to make.....either let "us" go for good and stop communication so we can move on properly or FIX "us" and recognize that our love is one that we are not ready or willing to let go of, which ultimately means, getting back together....

....for lack of better words....
We kissed & made up.

Agreed that it was pointless for us to "act" like we weren't just as in love now as we were a year ago.
Decided to communicate better & work on compromise.
Gained confidence that were gonna work this long distance thing, no matter how difficult it is.
And if for some reason we don't work.....damnit, we tried our best. Were not quitters.
So, I'm back in a relationship.
Wow...

That is all. Deuces.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Inhale...Exhale

Sometimes u gotta run away so u can see who will run after you. Sometimes you gotta talk quieter just too see who is listening. Sometimes you gotta step up in a fight just too see who is by your side. Sometimes you gotta make a wrong decision too see who is there to fix it. Sometimes you gotta let go of the one you care for just to see if they care enough to come back.
read that today and a light flickered...

*officially stepping back*

done worrying about things I have no control over...

Friday, August 13, 2010

1 down, 5 to go....

Not to sure what I was thinking signing myself up to work 6 12hr shifts in a row but clearly I must have bumped my head.....and it doesn't help that my hospital has gone mad and it feels like were "in season" already?!



I told myself I would stay positive though....that's the plan so wish me luck!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Not Sure What To Type at This Hour....

Its almost 3am and I'm wiidddeeee awake!! Well not really....I'm actually very sleepy (like always...)
so I've been on youtube most of the night and I've discovered the most ignorant video Ive seen in a loonnggg time....hilarious though!

figured I'd share......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEvNS5TzvwM


HIDE YA KIDS, HIDE YA WIFE! lol ha ha!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Insomnia....

sigh.....
I give up, I no longer have a healthy sleep pattern....I sleep whenever the feeling comes, and that's not too often.....that's what happens when you work night shift I suppose....

SN: I had a great, relaxing time at the beach yesterday morn!

Later!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Beach Day....

Lately I've been soooo emotional it's unreal!! The crazy thing is I can't name one exact thing thats making me feel the way I do... I guess if I could narrow down the things Im disappointed about nowadays it would probably be...
1. Gaining back the weight I worked soooo hard to get off!
2. The emotional attachment that still exist between me & my ex.
3.My longing to be back in school mixed with the doubt that I have on if I'm capable.
4.Missing my family like crazy....silly me, wanting to move somewhere where I'm near NOONE.
5.Wanting a change in personality....tired of being so timid, chill, & quiet. I'm not like that with everyone but being alone in this city is making me that way & just making the change is proving to be easier said than done.

Looking at the larger picture of "life", I realized that my "problems" are not nearly as bad as they come and I have no reason to complain but I can't deny that I've been feeling down alot this summer.

So, in response to me trying to fix me & regain peace of mind...Ive been going back to church, reading books, traveling, shopping, eating (ekk!), getting massages, pedicures, and having pamper me days....

and today is "beach day". Pray for me guys....I just want long term happiness & peace within!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Slow Night (Knock On Wood)....

Maybe its a slow night....or its my 4th night here and since I know all my patients well and my unit is beautifully clean and prepared for the next therapist to take over....I'm kind of chillin and relaxing!
Anywho..... I miss my vacation time already :(
and even though this was a easy going, fairly non stressful 4 day stretch, I just don't think I'm meant to work for a living! lol.... hear me out....

I believe I would be the perfect candidate to marry a successful man that's head over heels in love w/ me, birth beautiful children, raise them with the best and take care of my family!....I'd also love to do volunteering around whatever city I live in and travel all around the world. I would never get bored... (can you tell its 2 something in the AM!! Oh my crazy thoughts and wishes)....a girl's gotta dream!!
I guess that's about it....

Dueces!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Wooo I'm Pooped!!!

I'm officially 24!!! YAYYYYY!!!!!

I was determined to have some fun this year for my bday and that's exactly what I did....here's a lil recap!

July 8th....lunch and shopping in Orlando

I rarely get to shop so it was on and popping when I pulled up to the mall in Orlando!
........and yea...I probably went overboard and more than likely, I need a couple of days of overtime to break even..... But it was soooo much fun... and as for my favorite purchase of the day.....
...love at first sight.....yea, they bad, i know ha ha!


July 9th

MY BDAY!!!

I took it to Miami to shop and then Hollywood, FL to hang at the Hardrock with my old coworker from Tally. We had soo much fun....I love that area! I probably should have moved there after school instead of Port St. Lucie :(.... anywho, I had a good time hanging at the bars then relaxing with friends.

July 10th

Took it to Delray, FL off of Atlantic Ave....which is surprisingly a really cool area to hang out in. My friend Maya and I decided to roam around after our lunch at the Cheesecake Factory and we found it. It's like a mini South Beach right off of the water.... a long strip of shops, boutiques, and restaurants/ bars! Very nice out there!
Cant wait to go back.....

...and last but not least.....

July 11th

....a good rub down to make me forget how much I spent all weekend and reminiscence on how much fun I had and how much I appreciate everyone that hung out with me and made this weekend special!!! OK, I'm done splurging now! lol

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy 4th of July!!! (but it's still not better than the 9th!! ) :-D

Soooo YAY!!! It's the 4th of July! and what did Tiff do all day....
Yep...knocked out...ALL DAY LONG.....

no cook-outs, no fireworks, no family and friends....just me sleeping and preparing myself to go to work... :(

but before you start feeling sorry for me, it was GREAT sleep, I talked to my family on the phone, and although it was busy at work and we were under-staffed, I managed to get a good meal in and I saw fireworks from the patients rooms! lol
Me, Ash, and Holl ended up having hamburgers, hot dogs, deviled eggs, potato salad, chips, queso, guacamole, and cupcakes!! (pray for our tummies!)
Not such a bad 4th like I thought it would be....

oh yea....5 more days til I'm 24! yippe!

Happy Independence Day!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

And The Countdown Begins!!!!!!!!!

It's coming guys....it's coming!
July 9th is the day!!! The most important day in the world....The most special person alive was born.....MEEEEE!!!!!

I'm very very excited but I have yet to make any solid plans.... I took off work from the coming up Wed. to the following Wed....so I have plenty of time to figure something out. I'm thinking....Miami....Orlando.... or Atlanta....wherever I go, money will be spent and fun will be had!!!

When I left my house this afternoon, I had a note on my door asking about renewing my lease...I hate this time of year. They want to raise my rent and as much as I want to move out of that place...(it is a nice place by the way)...I HATE moving!

:(

moving sucks!

But I'm thinking, I'm probably going to look around further down South and pay someone to move me...I'll suffer and take a few OT shifts to cover my lazy"ness"....lol

Update on B's dad....he's still not doing well and I'm starting to worry a little bit more everytime I get an update.... Guillain Barre is such a tricky syndrome....it goes from non-critical to critical out of nowhere. Every patient I've seen with it has had a different response to treatments....some positive, some negative. I will continue to keep him and his entire family in my prayers...
With that being said, I got into an argument w/ B yesterday morning and felt like shit afterwards...he doesn't need my stress and here I go yelling about someone/thing that clearly doesn't even matter....I get so anxious and upset sometimes and when I get like that....I'm unstoppable and can't calm down...no self-control. I just go off.... *shrug* I need some Xanax in my life I guess...
....Let's see, what else has been going on....
oh yea...I went to the mall yesterday out of boredom just looking for some skin products so I don't completely fry and crust over this hot hot summer and this guy approached me and said that he was interested in taking me out. He was very respectful, older than me but he didn't look over 35, and he was put together nicely (and the Jamaican accent didn't hurt! lol)....I decided to turn him down on the date but said maybe we could hang out in a couple of months when I figured out what was going on with what I was feeling in my heart for my ex. (yea...i know you're thinking: he "just" wanted to take u out on a friendly outing....but I just was NOT interested in ANY way....my mind & heart are occupied.) been there, done that (trying to get over one situation by starting something new quickly)...I need "me" time....but it's still a awesome feeling to know that after being locked down for 3 yrs, I still got it! ha ha!! lol


Deuces!

Monday, June 28, 2010

It's Been a While...

Who woulda thought....between work (where I've actually been working hard) & life (which I've actually had one)...I've been soooooo busy!! Too busy to do my usual things like blog, tweet, and be nosy on FB.


So let's start with work: I'm really loving my job and all but lately I've been thinking about long term and I don't think I could do this for more than a couple of years...esp. working night shift. School starts in the fall and I've been considering signing up for a few classes. I got places I want to be and time is flying fast!
Life: I've been trying to make sure that I keep busy and hang out as much as possible to be totally honest! I feel like I'm too young and too "together" to be sitting at my house doing absolutely nothing all the time!

Love: Me and my ex are still broken up and I'm starting to be content with that but I can't lie....when he called me last week saying his dad was in the hospital....all my efforts to not care about him or his life went right out of the window. I call daily now to check on him, and I even drove up the a couple of days ago just to be a support system. His pops isn't doing well at all and I know that this is not something B can handle right now. I might not be with him...but I support him no matter what. (It's the "Cancer" in me...I cant help it.) I love him...he loves me. Nothing else matters.

Random stuff: Just started reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and I am truly enjoying it. It gives me alot to think about and reminds me how precious "life" is and you gotta cherish it and make the best of it....being a self proclaimed panic"ker" who has diagnosed myself with anxiety disorder...I tend to focus on the smallest things and let them consume me, but life is so precious and it is truly what you make it. It doesn't have to be stressful, a relationship is NOT everything (unless you're speaking of your relationship with God...or whatever higher being you pray to...if you pray to any being at all)....I'm blessed.
Happiness is the key!