Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Haven't blogged in a while...

Its been a week and I haven't blogged anything! At the rate I'm going, I'm going to be done with this website in NO time! lol

I don't want to be a depressing blogger but since I started the blog in the midst of the toughest breakup I've ever been through....I gotta express how I've been feeling...
So here's what happened a couple of days ago (the short version): His ex sends a inappropriate message, I send one, then he sends one to both of us saying hes sorry for everything and hes done talking to both of us. (out of line right??)...but then he calls, text, & attempts to get in touch with me approx 4hrs after that, talking about he can't "not" talk to me & that his ex is doing everything she can to break us apart...(that she knows that he's in love with me whether were together or not & she hates it).
I'm so confused, that confusion has replaced the feeling of hurt in my heart...I mean, either you love me or you don't. You wanna fuck with me, or you don't, either your done fucking with me altogether, or you're not....and if you are, go away & stop stressing my heart!! Geezz!
I've had two guys come up and try to establish something with me recently and I can't even focus...nor do I want them to come into the craziness of my life and my drama..also, I'm just not interested. It sucks.
It's hard for me to even talk to people about it because I don't feel like hearing the same ol' "you dont deserve it" "you're too great for this" "he ain't shit" because at the end of the day... I love that jerk....more than I've loved any other jerk that has come & go...and downing him isn't going to help me get over anything.
I'm just praying I make it through this mess with my sanity...and that he finds happiness, success, & whatever else he's looking for.

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